Emails and Strangers
by SomewhereBeyondReality
Summary: "This is me opening online contact if you want someone to talk to or rant to, share your internal insanity with or laugh at..." Chandler and Monica meet online and are surprised at the connection they have with their new anonymous friend. Set during Season 4. Mondler.
1. Chapter 1: Chandler

**Title:** Emails and Strangers  
**Author**: SomewhereBeyondReality  
**Rating**: K  
**Summary:** _"This is me opening online contact if you want someone to talk to or rant to, share your internal insanity with or laugh at..." _Chandler and Monica meet online and are surprised at the connection they have with their new anonymous friend. Set during Season 4.  
**Disclaimer:** Hi David Crane here, glad you're checking out my fanfic, reviews mean a lot to me!  
**A/N:** I know this has been done before but it's such a fun idea I wanted to try. Set in Season 4 after Kathy and Chandler broke up, and the girls and guys switched apartments.

_X-X_

_CookieAddict _

Hi!

Ok, that exclamation point makes me sound unnecessarily excited, like a toddler eating ice cream or something. Let's try again:

Hi

No, now I sound like my old neighbour. Hmmm, ancient, grumpy guy wasn't what I was going for. One more time:

Hi,

Yeah that works, friendly but not overbearing, and the comma leads into more, so I don't sound aloof.

Oh god, have I wasted half a page pondering over a comma? (Of course I do that in my head all the time, but I usually refrain from voicing or 'typing' my internal monologues.) Still, I told myself I'd be honest in this email, so that's what I'll be. Just be glad I spared you the argument over what greeting to use (Hello, hey, hiya, greeting, good morning...It was an epic debate).

Anyway, now we're there. So:

Hi,

Despite what my previous 'hi's' suggested I'm neither a small child nor old man. (I'm 28 if you really want to know). You probably don't remember me, but I was the guy you "talked" to last week in the Rembrandts chat room. You seemed really nice and funny, and gave me your email if I wanted to chat more. Honestly I've thought all week about contacting you which turned into another internal battle, because my previous experiences meeting people online have been...interesting, but you seemed so nice I'm risking it. (Along with the last of my pride with this needy, rambling email). You probably don't remember me anyway. I was the guy who said "I'll Be There for You" was my favourite song if that jogs your memory.

Anyway (again), I guess this is me opening online contact if you want someone to talk to or rant to, share your internal insanity with or laugh at.

I'll sign off now, email back if you want. You don't have to; I certainly wouldn't after that 'Hi! Hi Hi,' spiel but y'know...

From? Sincerely? Bye?

_SpeakingSarcasm _


	2. Chapter 2: Monica

_**SpeakingSarcasm**_

_Hi, _

_(There I used Hi + comma as well. That's a good combination you've created __ )._

_First off, __of course __I remember you! We only talked a week ago and I don't give my email address to every faceless person I meet. In fact you're the first and I had my own "internal battle" over giving it to you. You're not the only one who second guesses everything they do! And I'm not laughing at you. Actually your description of your 'head wars' is the main reason I've emailed back so fast. Not because you're pathetic or anything, but because I can totally relate. I also over-analyze everything I do and it's refreshing to find someone who does it as well. So knowing you're like me, and knowing I reread an email a billion times agonizing over it, I wanted to reply as quickly as possible to put your mind at rest. _

_On a more practical note, if we're starting this...friendly, internal correspondence thing, let's set some ground rules: I'm not going to tell you my name or address or phone number because that would be stupid. I will tell you I'm a 27 year old woman living in New York. In your email you promised you weren't creepily old or young. I'll choose to trust you on that. Given your startlingly open comma debate I think you're an honest guy. Of course that might've been a ploy to throw me off course and you're actually a sociopathic woman planning to kidnap me... (I warned you I overanalyze everything)_

_Anyway, be prepared that I'm not telling you any personal, 'Real Life' information about me. (At least for a while). Sorry if I'm sounding bossy, I'm just one of those people who wants to know exactly what's happening and organize everything. I hope that doesn't scare you from emailing back._

_Weirdly, I've already told you more personal and 'real' things than I normally admit to people. (Like my overanalyzing thing). I guess that's what so freeing about emailing a complete stranger: You can just type anything that comes into your head. Like writing in a diary except the diary talks back! _

"_I'll Be There For You" is your favourite song? That's my favourite Rembrandts song, but my favourite song overall is "The Way You Look Tonight". _

_To continue with the theme, what's your favourite movie and why? I've changed my mind over the years, currently its "When Harry Met Sally" though I haven't watched it in a while. I guess I like how they were good friends first and their relationship grew out of that. When I find someone (see I say when and not if, look at my optimism!) I hope it would be like that. Plus I can totally relate to Sally herself. _

_Talk to you soon. (Hopefully)._

_**CookieAddict**_


	3. Chapter 3: Chandler

_**CookieAddict**_

Thanks for replying back so fast. Yeah you were right about me agonizing over my first email. If you'd taken a while I'd probably have imploded from rereading it so many times. (How did you know I'd do that? Normally I pride myself on being hard to read but you blew straight through it all. You're not a therapist are you? Because they freak me out.) But thanks for saving me from my over analysis. And it's nice we have "Internal Battles" in common.

I don't think you give your email out to everyone. It' just people rarely remember meeting me, or if they do remember it painfully. I've learnt not to expect happy results when people see me so wanted to introduce myself fully.

Sounds fair on all the 'Real Life' details. I don't want to spill my whereabouts and guts to a total stranger, especially if _you _turn out to be a sociopathic old lady planning to kidnap me. (I reaffirm that I'm not one, though there's no way of proving that). Just sharing random, oddly personal crap is enough for now.

Hmmm, my favourite movie... Would you judge me horribly if I said Miss Congeniality? (Yeah, I can hear you questioning my manhood now. I usually try to avoid people questioning my manhood which is why I haven't told any of my 'normal friends' about my, um attachment to that movie. I should have said Die Hard or something more masculine, but Miss Congenality is my honest answer).

And why? Does it even need explaining? It's about a _secret agent posing as a_ _super model_! Who comes up with that stuff, it's genius?! And Sandra Bullock is really hot. (Proving I'm not totally gay. Which I'm not. Please believe me when I say that). I haven't seen When Harry Met Sally in a while either but I remember watching it a few years ago with a friend. She cried, for an alleged comedy it's emotional, which almost made _me _cry, so I mocked her until she stopped and hit me with a pillow. (There's something else you know about me: Real, honest to god emotions freak me out, and I'll use every bit of humour in my arsenal to escape them).

You can relate to Sally? That's funny I can relate to Harry...wisecracking, cynical etc. And I like to be friends before dating someone but none of my female friends would go for me so it's a moot point. I can't even afford your 'when' and not 'if'. Sadly for me finding someone will always be an If. You seem pretty nice though, so are a 'When' with no optimism needed!

Getting that out of the way...what was your favourite movie when you were a kid? Because as much as I love Miss Congeniality, (did I just type that out loud), movies from childhood are always the best. I had a weird attachment to the Disney version of Peter Pan when I was growing up. I watched it every day for about a year until the tape was worn out and my parents never got round to buying me a new one.

I don't know why I loved the story so much. I'm sure my ex-therapist (who is the reason therapists freak me out by the way) would say it was because I was forced to face too much at a young age and developed a phobia of growing up and possibly an identity complex concerning all the Lost Boys... But I think it was just a cool story. I mean pirates and flying and no grown ups to tell you what to do? Awesome.

Sorry I'm babbling and know I'm going to regret even mentioning my therapist. You'll think I'm a freak now. But my all-too-obvious dysfunctions can never be hidden for long.

_**SpeakingScarcasm **_

**X-X**

**A/N: Sorry for the gap between updates I've been really busy. But it's the uni holidays so the next chapter should be up soon. **


	4. Chapter 4: Monica

_SpeakingSarcasm_

No I'm not a therapist! I won't tell you what I do because that would be breaching the 'Real Life' rule, but I love my job and it has_ nothing_ to do with analyzing people. And I'm not freaked out by you having seen a therapist. I've been to one as well. It was ages ago when I was growing up and had _serious _issues with my parents. My therapist was actually okay, she gave us some good advice but of course my mother never followed it.

So if you're a freak for seeing a therapist then I am too. (Seriously stop thinking so low of yourself, you seem really nice and despite the running away from emotions thing, more open than most guys I know. I don't care about your dysfunctions, we all have them. And isn't _not _hiding our dysfunctions what these emails are all about?)

I have the opposite problem with meeting people. I can usually make a good-ish first impression but when people get to know me better..._that'_s when they bolt. In a way that's worse. At least when people don't like you based on a first impression, you can pass it off as awkwardness or a bad day. When it happens later they're actually rejecting _you. _And that sucks.

Anyway, enough with the pity party.

Miss Congeniality huh? No wonder you kept that quiet. (In all seriousness it's ok; we all have our guilty pleasures. And I feel special that I know that about you and no one else does ) And I don't think you're gay! No man who appreciates Sandra Bullock can be gay.

My favourite _childhood _movie? Hmm, I also watched a lot of Disney movies and my favourite was probably 101 Dalmatians (I loved the book as well). The story was so sweet and I've always loved dogs. And I liked the idea that two parents (even doggy parents) would do so much to rescue their children. I always wondered if my parents would do that for me. (Doubtful). I liked Peter Pan as well; it was sweet how Wendy looked after everyone. I was never afraid to grow up though; I always planned out my life and wanted to start living it. (Sadly things hardly ever go to plan). I'm sorry you were forced to grow up too fast, it sounds like you had a tough time. But at least you had Peter to help!

On a similar note, what's your favourite childhood _book_?

I liked reading as a kid. Not as much as my brother because I liked sports as well but I read a bit. I read a lot of Enid Blyton so probably the Magic Far Away Tree books. I loved the description of all the tree houses and rooms in the trunk and magical lands at the top. (Especially the Land of Goodies! I read that chapter so many times and used to check all the top of the trees in case anything was up there. Sadly there never was).

What about you?

_CookieAddict _

P.S. Be more optimistic! You seem like a 'when' type of guy to me!


	5. Chapter 5: Chandler

_Ok, a thousand apologies that this took so long. Writing the emails doesn't take long, but I wanted a clear outline to go with and a plan for how their friendship is going to progress. And it took me a while to get that down. But I have now, and I've planned from the beginning how this story will end, so updates should be more frequent! _

_X-X_

_Cookie Addict_

Good choice on Enid Blyton. I read a lot of her when I was younger, especially her Famous Five books but I avoided boarding school stuff. (It's a lot less fun in real life. Trust me.) I read a lot of Rahl Dahl too, which contributed to my questionable sense of humour.

My favourite book of all has to be The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S Lewis. (Once again relating to my fear of growing up. I'm a walking cliché. I admire you for being ready to face adulthood. Even if it's not going to plan at least you _have _a plan).

So while you were busy checking up trees I was busy knocking on the back of wardrobes. No kidding. Every house I visited, the first place I went was the wardrobe. You know, just in case. (Of course then I got locked _in _my cupboard. It took my parents 5 hours to start realize I was missing. And I may or may not have been crying for help. Yeah, there's a snippet of my childhood for you).

Actually that reminds me about what you said about the Dalmatian parents searching for their children. I think my parents _would _have cared if I vanished, but they'd have to _notice_ first. And noticing is the hard part. Does that make sense? I think you'll understand. Most people think its automatic you know? _Of course _your parents would rescue you. _Of course _they love you. But it's not that simple. Or at least not for me.

Like with the shrink thing. Shrinks don't just solve your problems. Like your parents ignored your shrink, and mine...well my shrink was ok until I realized my parents were only sending me to him because the school was complaining about my 'issues'. Then I walked in for our 'family session' and found my mother and the shrink having sex on the couch.I stopped going after that. So yeah you're not alone with having problems with your parents.

Hmm, not hiding my dysfunctions? That's a new idea. Even with my friends, who are more like family, there's a part of me that wants to hide. Of course they know me well enough to realize when I'm hiding and call me out on it. Maybe I should work on not hiding at all.

And I'm not planning on 'rejecting' you, any time soon. You seem like a really nice person. Anyone who doesn't realize that is an idiot.

You mentioned sports, what's your favourite one? I'm not the sportiest guy thanks to in-born klutziness and laziness, but I like watching sports, especially Basketball. (Go Knicks!) Playing tennis is ok and I can kick ass at ping pong. I haven't told any of my friends that though. Some of them are super-competitive and would immediately take it as a challenge...You should see them during our foosball games. (Does foosball count as a sport? Because I'd totally change my answer. My roommate and I have a foosball table and all our friends come over to play. Some of the games can get intense).

Anyway, my friends are yelling, I think they've ordered pizza. See you!

_Speaking Sarcasm _

P.S Thanks. That's probably the first time someone's held that opinion but, yeah, even if it's based on a few awkward emails, thanks.


End file.
